You're fucking cool, Warda.

You're so fucking coooooool.

Anna: You made me sad yesterday.

Albert: Oh I am displeased to hear that. I AM JUST ANAL AT TIMES OF FRUSTRATION THAT I CANNOT CONTAIN.

...Ok, I don't know why I'm talking like that.

#1 President for the #1 Student

Albert: Can you believe i fucking played George Washington?
Ari: What?! Haha!
Albert: In 2nd grade over all the white kids. You know why?
Ari: Why, Albert?
Albert: 'Cause I had the highest grade in the class! They put this white thing over my head!

All for one, and one for all.

Nick Shen: Duude. That was sick.

I peeled my boiled egg in only two pieces!

How does that happen?

Albert: Well I'll be more

impressed when it's in one piece.

Birthday Greetings.

Cristel: Happy birthday, Albert!

Albert: Happy birthday.

Cristel: It's not my birthday.

Because it IS his birthday.

Happy birthday, Albert!

Happy birthday, Ass!

Happy birthday, Dad!

*[Happy birthday song, accompanied by sparkler & Sprinkles cupcake]*

Albert: I am most happy right now.

Cake because it's almost his birthday.

Go, Anna! You can do it! Get that ice cream like a fat boy gets cake!

Question of the day.

Albert: Here's a good question: Why don't people act their own age?

Ari: Well, how does a 19-year old act?

Albert: ...I don't know. That's another good question.

He's not?

I am not the supreme ruler of the world or governor of essays.

Shut up, Just shut up, shut up...

Gabby: Albert, I'm so proud of you.

Albert: Shut up.

One night stand.

Albert: Remember that one night you slept in my room?

Gabby: Yeah.

Albert: I didn't even know your name then.

Gabby: Ass.

I Think I Can, I Think I Can...

"Let me think about this... Let me think about this like a little bitch."

A tisket, a tasket...

Gabby: Albs, you should come to pump & sculpt!

Albert: No.

Ari: There was a guy there!

Albert: That "a guy" was probably A GAY!

Remorseful.

"Such opportunity should not be wasted on

my mistakes!"

Clothes Call.

Gabby: I like your jeans.

Albert: I don't like my jeans.

Cristel: I don't like your jeans.

Albert: I hate you.

Cristel: I like your shirt.

Albert: I hate you.

Ari: I like your shirt, Albert.

Albert: YAY.

Two-for-one Special.

AHHH!

It's two Filipinos in one Korean room.

To believe, or not to believe.

Beastiality and disease is a chapter in this book. Can you believe that?

Nelly Furtado says, "I'm like a bird." So does Albert.

While you guys sit,

I'm going to arch myself

like this here while you guys eat.

I'm like a bird.

Chiiiiirp.

Curiosity Kills the Pretzel.

Come on, light the pretzel on fire!

I want to see this happen.

[awkward silence]

What? It's organic material.

No Such Thing.

There's no such thing as fun in Middle Earth.

If the Key Fits...

This car is really waxed. It's time to key it!

Some like it Hot.

Olivia: You can make anything sound dirty

Albert: You lick that hot chocolate . . .

You know, like black people.

We watch GLEE. Albert watches people.

I like the way people are getting

absorbed by the tv screen.

It's SUCKING THE LIFE OUT OF THEM!

bahaha.

The Little Princess.

Circa 5:24 pm, March 31, 2010

via text

Me: Do you want to eat?
Albert: no. Do YOU want to eat? We're walking to brandy right now. Us guys.

Me: Okay. We're on our way. Save me a seat!

Albert: You eat on the ground.

Me: I want to sit by you.

Albert: Ok fine, you can eat on a yoga mat.

Me: Yes, Princess.

Albert: Good, we can continue this mutual relationship then :)

A throwdown? No, a throwup.

How does everyone throw up so much?

Okay, I take that back. Everyone throw up.

Clog up every toilet, sink, and fountain!

THAT Time of the Month.

My period's starting now. Your estrogen is affecting me.

Hugs and Kisses.

Gabby: I want a hug! [hugs Olivia, Andrew, and Dina, respectively]

Albert: Gabby, I don't want a hug, a handshake, or a high five. But I do want something.

Gabby: So... what you're telling me is that you want a kiss?

Albert: No.

Gramatically incorrect, unless Albert counts himself as 2 people. Then that would just be cocksure.

i are hungry!

@ Mina Choe

A: Your parents have stopped time (in reference to the non-functioning, decorative clocks). And none of the pictures are aligned.
Joann: That's the style.
A: Oh, really?

Against Victory.

I don't want to win anymore. This needs to end.

(RE: 7-win streak in BP)

Parts of the chicken that should not be discussed.

Ameen Manghi Guess what?

38 minutes ago · Comment ·

Albert Luo

CHICKEN BUTT

36 minutes ago

Completely irrelevant to whatever conversation we were engaged in.

"There are cute girls in the bookstore."

Rite Aid. or Rite Acid?

Something about the root beer tastes like...

battery acid.

Idolatry. or Prayer.

Give me good fortune, O mighty Panda!

The Sound of Music.

Gabby: I want a baby grand in my house.

Olivia: Me too!

Gabby: I love the sound of the piano.

Olivia: Oh my gosh, I know.

Albert: It's funny that most people who like the sound of the piano can't recognize the sound of a flute.

Gabby and Olivia: ...

Gabby: I can. I wanted to play the flute.

Olivia: So did I... but I got stuck with the clarinet.

Albert: Clarinet's fun. It's got a very rich sound.

Albert's version of Mean Girls.

i am now your mortal enemy;

forever we will be in strife.

A Masochist.

dina: Ow!

olivia: Ouch!

albert: it seems like the inhabitants

of this room are getting hurt.

i am enjoying this pain.

Hunger-Induced Angst.

I find it very ironic that

there is a spring simulation

... inside the mall!

Homebros in the 951.

Fuck Santa.

Just kidding.

I love Santa.

Santa is my homebro.

@ Rainforest Cafe

Give me great fortune,

mighty alligator!

RE: Magic Mountain Jobs

This is the best job in the world!

You get to hear kids

screaming all day

... and it's legal!

Juguetear.

How do you say "frolic" in Spanish?

I want to know how to say that.

Pterodáctilo

Albert: Do you want to know how

to say pterodactyl in Spanish?

Me: No.

Albert: (excitedly) Well, it’s pterodáctilo.

Girls.

Albert: Do girls put on makeup together?

Girls: What?

Albert: Do roommates say, “Hey, let’s put on makeup together”?

Girls: No.

Albert: Really?

Albert Says: "Katsu"

Albert: Like on the ride Katsu

Gabby: Katsu is chicken, Albert.

Albert: Shut up, Gabby.