Most people take Memorial Day off. Albert doesn't.

Albert:

You know what?

In honor of you, I'll just

DRINK the garlic sauce.

Dina:

?

Albert:

NO.

EVEN BETTER...

I'LL POUR IT OVER MY BODY

AND RUB IT.

OIL MYSELF.

Dina:

...

Albert:

MMM.

GARLIC SAUCE ON MY NIPPLES.

Dina:

Please... I know you're joking.

Albert:

Busy rubbing.

Hold on...

Eff it; I'll just pour it down into my pants too.

Dina:

...

Albert:

...

I'm a terrible, terrible person, aren't I?

People in Africa are dying...

Dina:

Terrible.

Albert:

...While I'm gluttonizing garlic sauce.

Oh well.

EVIL IS INHERENT IN ALL HUMANS EITHER WAY.

POUR MORE GARLIC SAUCE!!!!!!!!!!

And since you like ketchup, I'll put

KETCHUP ON MY BODAY TOO

MMMMMMMMMMMMMM

GET IN THERE KETCHUP!

GIMME SOME TOMATOES

Favorite 5.

Gabby: Albs, so who are your top 5 guys in the hall?
Albert: Oh what, so I'm gay now?

Red Devils

Don't touch me.
Don't touch me with those devlish hands.
I don't want any of your devlish hands touching me!

Facebook chat can fuck Esteban.

PMS.

I have those days too.

And I just say,

"Fuck you"

to everyone.

Most guys would want to.

Q: So... are you guys going to have a threesome?

A[lbert]: What the fuck is wrong with you?

Dictionary.Com(munistAlbert)

There's no such thing as cuteness in my dictionary.

Yep, it's all ugly.

If I Was a Rich Girl...

Albert: If I ever get rich, I want my own stadium... 'cause the acoustics are AWESOME.

Ari: Cristel, 14 feet.

Albert: Oh, I just pictured

two Yao mings together.

To the Cholula Chica

I see your ovaries!

[to woman on hot sauce bottle]

Txt U L8r xo Stfu Lol

Your father has returned with an upgraded device to aid him in the multimedia world.

Balllllllllin'

Dina: Andrew! I'm gunna

kick you in the balls right now!

Albert: Oh yeah, Andrew

move your balls against her foot.

Dina: Ew!

Albert: mmmm balls.

Touch Me.

cristel: i love your keyboard on your computer albert!
albert: you're allowed to caress my keyboard.

The Clear Solution to Boredom.

Albert: I'm so fucking bored right now!

I am going to fuck a goat!

Dina: So you're telling me if I brought

you a goat right now, you would fuck it.

Albert: Yes, I will fucking fuck that goat.

Albert: (to Aquan) Fucking relax god.

Back in Business.

The reason I did not post for so long is because we were at 69 posts.

How could I possibly want to remove such an honor?